'We're never moving to Virginia': New York couple refuses to move to mother-in-law's hometown when wife is pregnant, she guilt trips them about being closer to her grandson

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Dec 6, 2025 12:00 PM EST

The world is a big place. Everything in life is location, location, location. We would all be completely different people if we were born somewhere else, grew up somewhere else, or moved somewhere else now. Though we all see the same sun, moon, and sky, it can feel like we're breathing different air and living in alternate universes based on where we are. In the story here, location really is everything. The couple met in college, she's from New York, and he's from Virginia. They've been together and living in New York for ten years and now they're pregnant with their first child. 

It's Thanksgiving dinner, and they're at the husband's family's home for the holiday. His mom is going on and on about how she would love for them to be closer, and now that they're pregnant she laments how sad she'll be to not see him growing up. It's a harsh truth but the verisimilitude of the situation is that the couple has no intention of moving from New York. The wife tells her MIL straight out how it's never going to happen. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my MIL we are never moving to Virginia?

    Couple at Thanksgiving
    via Karola G from Pexels / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My husband and I met in college I'm from Queens NY he is from Virginia. When we graduated and were deciding what we wanted
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    for our futures I made it clear I was living in New York my life is here and that's where I want to
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  • 04
    be my entire life so if he wanted to move back to Virginia we should end it.
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  • 05
    He said he wanted to live in NY too so we moved to Queens and have been here for almost 10
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  • 06
    years. His mom was not happy about it and has never gotten over it but has mostly kept her mouth shut.
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  • 07
    Thanksgiving dinner
    via AlexRaths / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    Flash forward to now I'm pregnant with our first (a boy) we went to visit his family for thanksgiving. The entire visit his
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  • 09
    mom kept making comments about how sad she is she won't be able to see her grandson grow up and how there is so much
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  • 10
    more family in Virginia and how my family is so small (For context yes my family is small just my mom, my cousin, her two kids,
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  • 11
    and an aunt and uncle but we are extremely close and see each other multiple times a week.)
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  • 12
    We ignored the comments at first but she kept going. Finally she said outright it's only fair that we move to Virginia now, since we
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    lived in New York for me for 10 years. She said our baby would have so many cousins, aunts, and uncles that our village would be
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    stronger there, that Virginia is safer, that we could afford a big house with a yard, and that she's
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  • 15
    retired so she could watch the baby all the time.
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  • 16
    At that point I had enough, I told her flat out we are never moving to Virginia our lives are in New York and there's zero chance
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  • 17
    that's changing. My husband agreed immediately and said he's lived in both places and genuinely prefers New York.
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  • 18
    She shut up after that but my SIL told me I was too harsh and I could at least consider it and listen to what she had to say.
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  • 19
    ComprehensiveP... • 14h ago Tell SIL you've already had 10 years to consider it and
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  • 20
    the choice is obvious. It's time for MIL to accept reality. NTA
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  • 21
    . sevenfourtime • 14h ago If she is retired, why can't she come visit in New York more often? There are so many options with which to do so.
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  • 22
    As for moving, she is out of line. Her primary duties in raising you are finished. She needs to let you start your
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  • 23
    own family and be a supportive grandma. She doesn't get a vote on where you live as long as you and your boyfriend are united.
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  • 24
    NTA. Your directness was needed. Anything less, and she would have kept on until
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  • 25
    she got her way. The sister might need a dose of that fire, too.
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